The last part of my sharing!!! Again, as a reminder, read the first and second part to understand! But if you're reading this right now then you're probably waiting to read the continuation? I hopeeee.... Hehe.. So lets get startedd!!!!
- Part 3 -
So before all of this issue even started, there was something else. The church was about to have its annual Thanksgiving reatreat. Besides it being a retreat, it spoke to me more as 'the twice in a year opportunity of a lifetime to get water baptised'. Cause no, I have not been water baptised yet, except for when I was a baby, but that doesn't count. So everytime a retreat comes up, I always hope I can get water baptised.
The only problem about that is that my mom doesn't allow me to. Sounds cliche huh? And no, she is not the bad guy, cause I can perfectly well understand why she wouldn't allow me. She herself has accepted Jesus Christ and believes in God too. But we're Catholics, it's written on our IDs and all the other formal and legal certificates. So by getting baptised, it's like saying that I've officially moved over to Christianity and that would mean that we have to change all my status on the certificates which would be troublesome. There were also other reasons my mom was concerned about, but once again, she is NOT the bad guy.
So time after time... I have watched my friends getting baptised while I only watched from the sidelines, rooting them on for being reborn. Ever since the Easter Celebration in 2009 where James and the others got baptized, then the 2009 Thanksgiving retreat where others got baptized, then again during the 2010 Spring retreat. Yes, I do keep count... And during every one of those moments, I always wondered... When will it be my turn?
So during this retreat, I know there will be a water baptism again. (It was announced to the whole church actually) And I reaaally reaaaalllyyyyy wanted to get baptized. But this time, it was a bit different. Instead of being all eager about it (which I still was though), I decided to surrender it to God. Maybe it wasn't my time yet... Maybe I am not ready for it yet... I don't know, but perhaps there was a reason, right? So I started talking to some other people who didn't get water baptised yet, and imagine how wonderful it would be if we all could get baptised togetherrr... :)
So I went home after that and I went back to my closet. The closet has become a place for me to communicate to God, no matter how weird it sounds. (Maybe I should post a picture to show how comfortble it actually is). Anyway, I started to talk to God. I asked Him for His guidance about me getting water baptised. I told Him I surrendered myself and would wait until whenever He thought I was ready to get baptised. James and I also prayed about this several times, asking Him whether this was the time or not.
Howeveeeerrrr, I still had the urge to get baptised this time. (Kinda contradicting with my surrendering, but okaaay).. So I asked God whether this was the time to get baptised or not. If it was, I asked him for 2 signs:
1. That He would allow me to go to retreat
2. That my mom would allow me to get baptized
Well, those are two very obvious signs actually, but that's what I asked Him. And I closed my prayer.
Times passed by... The whole $160 incident happened. I started to get discouraged to go retreat. I started to lose hope, thinking that it would now be impossible to go to retreat in the first place anyway. I didn't have the courage to ask my mom. And so, I just had the mindset that I won't be going after all. Slowly, I started to lose all the excitement to go. I almost made up my mind to not go. Whenever someone asked me whether I would go or not, I said that i was still unsure.. But in my heart I was thinking that I wouldn't go.
But then... something happened... (Read part 2)
In short, God provided me with the money to go to retreat!
As I returned from CG, I talked to James about it. I told him that this wouldn't be an ordinary retreat, cause God is willing to pay for me. There must be something wonderful about it! Maybe the preacher or something, but I knew there was something that God wanted me to accomplish during this retreat. He wanted me to come!!!
And that's when I remembered... A few weeks ago, I made that agreement with God. I asked Him to give me a sign. The first thing was for Him to allow me to go to retreat. Well, in this case, I guess I can literally say that HE allowed me to go. I started to get ecstatic inside, feeling that there might have been a hope after all. The second sign was for my mom to give me permission, so I understood immediately what I had to do.
As soon as I went back home, I told my sister about all of this. Then I prayed to God again, thanking Him for allowing me to go. And I prayed, that He would help me as I talk to my mom as soon after the prayer. I ended the prayer..
The time has come...
I started to take my Blackberry and BBM-ed my mom. I asked her whether she had time or not to listen, cause I wanted to tell and share something to her at the moment. She told me that she did. So I started to tell her about what just happened that night, about the story of my friend and everything. I could tell my mom was attentively reading what I typed, she asked me to continue and every message was immediately 'Read' by her.
I finished telling her about how I obtained God's money. She said "Praise the Lord!"
I took that as a good sign, and I started to become even more hopefull. Slowly I continued my story with a nervous heart. I told her about the agreement I made with God and for the two signs. I had a reaaaalllyyy good feeeling about it.
"The first sign has already come true, God gave me the permission to go to retreat. And the second sign is for you to give me permission.... So, can I get water baptised?" I asked her.
I immediately continued about all the benefits of being water baptised and told her that it isn't about changing religion. It's all about God! I want to be reborn and live with Him! I gave her a lot of one-sided argument.
She read it... and stayed quiet...
I was so nervous as I anticipated her answer. After 3 minutes, she didn't reply.
I started to panic, even though it has only been 3 minutes. But those seemed like 3 very super long minutes!
"Mama?" I asked again, hoping to get an answer.
I saw her starting to write a message, and this is what she answered:
"God is mightier than me. So if God allows you to do it, then I'm okay with it, because you're a big girl already. So I think that this is your business with God, and I feel gratefull as well. Cause I pray everyday, surrendering my children to God, knowing that He has a great plan for all of you."
I started to cry with joy and ecstacy. Tears poured down my face again for the nth time that night. I thanked my mom for her understanding and for her permission. God has amazed me yet again and again. Starting from what I thought was a financial problem, God has proven me wrong. He had planned all of this waaaaayyyy before it even happened. And He planned it so beautifully in this sequence. He really did open up a way for me!
He answered my prayer. He is telling me that I'm ready. And I really do feel ready for this!
I'm going to this retreat! And in addition, I'm gonna follow God's instructions for me: to get water baptised.
Praise Lord!!!!!
Me waiting for 1 and a half year and missing 3 chances has not gone in vain.
I know it's gonna be my turn this time, and God has showed me this in such a wonderful way.
And I am so grateful for the way He showed me this.
"But I pray to You, Lord. So when the time is right, answer me and help me with your wonderful love." - Psalm 69:13
God's timing is perfect, He keeps His promise... Is our God amazing or what???
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